July is gone, gone, gone and that's probably a good thing because it was weird, weird, weird. I lived in five different places during the month of July, not including a hostel/hotel in Asuncion, and I was feeling pretty disoriented- geographically, emotionally, ecumenically... You know what July: The only good thing you gave me besides an intimate relationship with Anna Sanger was HARRY POTTER. Yes, I got to complete the journey in 3-D with Spanish subtitles and I cried the whole time.
Now, on to August. What shall we do?
This month, I start teaching! My friend Anna and I "successfully" completed a winter break camp in July, so I now have some experience teaching in another language. Of course, the classes at our camp only had between 3 (rough day) and 15 kids in them and the classes at my school have more like... 15-20, depending on the weather. It turns out rain or temperatures below 60F just aren't conducive to teaching. Ridiculous, right? Makes you want to spout some of that oh-so-classic "I-walked-to-school-in-3-feet-of-snow-uphill-both-ways-with-holes-in-my-boots-and-a-baby-on-my-back" nonsense that grandma gave us, right? Well hold on because in reality I wouldn't go to school either. The classrooms are uninsulated, some have windows (swinging wooden doors) that don't close and the profesoras will be feeling equally as kaigue as the kids which translates to painting their nails, drinking mate dulce and cooking mbeju. Considering those factors- seriously, inclement weather just doesn't allow for productive classes.
So I will do my best and hope this overcast, gray, soulless weather clears up before next week so I can start teaching nutrition. I will teach every Wednesday, 15-20 minute sessions with each class in the morning group, afternoon group and the high school group at night. Entonces, Wednesday's will be busy but guapa points should be quickly piling up.
My puesto de salud is just rocking their socks off! The walls are stretching to hold the number of patients everyday and my doctor and I have organized two support groups: One for pregnant women and new mothers and a second for people with metabolic syndrome (obese, diabetic and hypertensive). Once every two weeks these groups meet and the doctor runs a short meeting, covering a different aspect of health: Cooking healthy meals, exercising, correct breastfeeding tactics, etc. Additionally, the doctor has taken it upon herself to conduct a study of all the people in our town with metabolic syndrome (about 20% of the adult population at the first count) and is utilizing a snazzy new computer program she conseguir-ed to enter and track data such as HDL/LDL levels, waistline measurement, weight and blood pressure over time. She wants to publish the study afterward and, hey, if I could get published internationally I wouldn't really mind it.
Hello, med school? I'm knocking. Actually, I have battering ram with a team of Paraguayans behind it. Can I come in?
Hey, by the way, who's a single, independent duena-negotiating firecracker? It's me! And after six months of sharing homes with incredibly accommodating locals, I have my own house! I moved in two days ago and am currently feeling the ulcer-inducing stress of negotiating with my landlady, Mercedes, in another language. It turns out my refrigerator is actually a freezer (rock-hard carrots, anyone?), my stove is out of gas and only the stovetop functions, not the oven, and I do not have hot water. I'm going to work on either conseguir-ing those things or getting the rent lowered in lieu of them. Another problem... or maybe it's more like a prize in the bottom of a Cracker Jack box, not a problem... my duena is planning on staying with me once a month or so and she's going to bring her quickly disintegrating mother. Should I take this as an interesting opportunity to cuddle up with a stranger in bed and share my food/utilities/patience/space or should I demand that I have my own space? I'm not really sure. Ideas?
In response to a few demands from family and friends, I have left out all SAT-size words from this blog and have instead replaced them with Spanish and Guarani words. See below for the magic decoder list.
Until next time- thank you all for your love and support without which I would surely be in a boneless, undignified puddle on my dirt floor.
kaigue (Guarani)- lazy; can be used as a chronic or acute term
mate dulce- a milk tea drink that is drank with a straw (bombilla) and poured into a small cup (guampa) which is filled with shredded coco.
mbeju (Guarani)- a traditional Paraguayan food made from corn meal, cheese and animal fat.
entonces- so, well, then, therefore, etc...
guapa- super hard-working; the best compliment you can receive. In other Spanish-speaking countries, these term generally means good-looking.
puesto de salud- health post
conseguir- to acquire; to get; to materialize magically from thin air
duena- land-lady
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